Tees Maar Khan revolves around conman Tabrez Mirza Khan (TMK, Akshay Kumar) who has been a criminal since he was young. He was caught in France and was deported back to India. Two police officers Chatterjee (Aman Verma) and Mukherjee (Murli Sharma) took him but he escaped.
He is in love with the struggling actress Anya (Katrina Kaif). TMK takes a job from the Johri brothers (Raghu Ram and Rajiv Laxman) to rob a non-stop train loaded with precious antiques. He cons the people of Dhulia village into helping him by saying that he will make a historical film about their village. He approaches the greedy but popular actor Aatish Kapoor (Akshaye Khanna), who is eager to get the Oscar award and fools him into working in his film. The robbery goes well but all the villagers and Tabrez Mirza Khan get arrested. TMK claims that he is innocent, but he gets arrested anyway. However, at the court, he says many funny jokes, and by chance he hears that he will be in the jail for 7 years. but it was that he will be in the jail for 60 years.
The movie is completed and, at the premiere, Aatish, Anya, TMK's mother, Dollar, Soda, Burger and all the villagers walk the red carpet with Tees Maar Khan and the police. After the film, Tees Maar Khan escapes. Later, at his private jet, the Johri brothers enjoy what they got until Tees Maar Khan and his gang throw them out of the plane. The film ends with TMK and his mother becoming rich, Aatish receiving Oscar awards from actor Anil Kapoor, Anya becoming an actress and the whole Dhulia village opening their own saloons, party halls and the village inspector opening a poster signing stall to all the people from America. The crew of the film are seen receiving the Oscar awards in the song "Happy Ending".